She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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