one might say we're banned from that church
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
