I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
