gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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