The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
