i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
