Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
