i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
