how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
