my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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