If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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