batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
