Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
organizing the empties. That sober.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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