Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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