Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How external is "for external use only"?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize