That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
