she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
