I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize