I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
