another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
