I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
