I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
