the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
