I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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