a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
