Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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