you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
