Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There's always time for handjobs
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
