id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
