you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
