I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
