i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
