I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
