oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
