I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
