I faked an abortion last night.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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