these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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