I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
