wat bout pragnant strippers??
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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