i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize