Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize