When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
