you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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