yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She needs sedatives and a leash
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
