So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
