Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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