i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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