I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
