I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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