Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
