It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
