I hate all girls vehemently.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
