i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
