I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
