i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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