dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
